Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
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if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
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He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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