Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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