I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
