STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
