i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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