I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize