you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
only if we run a train.
done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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