I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
