what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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