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Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
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