I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises