hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow