i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!