brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Mom said you looked used
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"