I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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