He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
