just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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