Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
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I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
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I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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