I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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