i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Houston, we have a blender
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
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