I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize