ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
