Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize