u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize