Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
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I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
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In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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