How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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