Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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