i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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