me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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