My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize