nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
19 People Confess The Craziest Sex Act They’ve Ever Participated In
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
17 People Admit the Worst Thing They’ve Done To a Server
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.