I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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