If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
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I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
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I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate