i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok