I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag