You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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