Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
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I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
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Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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