the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
