i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
and she was petting her beer can
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Randomize
