By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize