Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
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Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
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Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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