i just had sex bonerless
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize