Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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