but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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