There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
