How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
