this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
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I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
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I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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