i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
either way he was missing a nipple.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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