And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
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at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
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Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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