pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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