First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
You smell like stripper and shame
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
