just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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