She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
