This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
