3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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