I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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